I left my watch, down in Portland..

Doesn’t quite have the same ring to it as ‘I left my heart down in San Francisco’

I’ve bought my coffee and my croissant and I’ve retreated back to Martin and Sylvia’s rather swish pad in the Marina area of San Francisco after wandering around for a while, pretending I live here, whilst watching the fitness fanatics go for their morning jog along the bay. Anyway, It’s time I wrote a blog summarising the previous and oh-so-very busy week I‘ve had.

I arrived in San Francisco last night, over the Golden Gate bridge with the sound of the Mama’s and Papa’s playing (followed by the Doors and then Tom Waits - it's as if my Ipod is self-aware). The whole bay and city was cloaked in fog so I couldn’t really savour the view as I moved slowly through the traffic towards the Marina but this did add some extra mystery to this famous city.

Before I go any further I thought that I should point out that I wrote my last blog in a town called ‘Hope’ in British Columbia which I said was straight out of a David Lynch movie. I can now confirm that I was completely wrong and in actual fact (now, this is true) the town of Hope was actually straight out of First Blood, which was the first film in the Rambo trilogy. If anyone has seen it (of course you have), it is indeed the town that gets blown to smithereens when Rambo has his breakdown and where he has his flashbacks about those torturous Magic Markers (what was that line all about?).

I’m thinking back to the last week now and it’s incredible to think how much I’ve done. Ricky, who is like the Internet equivalent to the Man from Del Monte has said that he likes my new Paragraphing and numbering system (he say ’yeeeeah’) and so I shall carry this format on into another week. So here are the facts, I hope you are ready for them.

1) Vancouver
I stayed here for 2 days (including Canada Day) and I spent it wandering round aimlessly taking photos and chatting to locals. The people here are incredibly laid back, friendly and they have a very similar wit to Londoners.. It must be due to all the rain they get too. I also met another tourist from Europe who was incredibly envious about my bear encounter.

2) Vancouver Island, Victoria and Mitsu Ikemura.
I travelled by Car ferry and stayed on Vancouver Island for a couple of days. My friend Mitsu, who I met in Vietnam last year was kind enough to let me stay for a couple of nights. Apart from having a quick look round Victoria, I stayed off the tourist trail and just enjoyed Mitsu’s neighbourhood and his company. We planted a tree in his back garden with the help of Hiruki, Mitsu’s 1 year old grandson, and talked fondly of our time in Vietnam. Mitsu and Maki (Mitsu’s daughter) also played some piano duets (there’s no end to this man’s talents) and cooked some wonderful food.. Hopefully I will get the chance to return the favour one day in London.

3) US customs…. AGAIN..
This time, my passport stamps caused me problems.. “What was you doing in Vietnam and Cambodia, sir? These are strange places to visit, dontyathink?” and “It’s quite strange that someone from Europe would travel out here on their own. Why are you alone sir?”
Again, I made sure that when I said ‘Officer’, the tone implied that I was saying ‘moron’.

4) Galloping Gertie
On November 17th 1940, The Tacoma Narrows Bridge nicknamed ‘Galloping Gertie’ suffered a tremendous structural collapse just a few months after it had been finished. Cross-winds, which were common throughout the Puget sound area (although not exceptionally strong), that the designers hadn’t taken into account had been causing the bridge to sway since it opened, hence the nickname. People travelled from all around to witness the bridge’s bounce and actually enjoy the bumpy ride over it until of course, the inevitable happened. The collapse was actually due to a form of harmonic mechanical resonance and not just unusually strong winds which everyone first thought. This caused the bridge to swing in a very rhythmic fashion before it finally buckled and crashed into the water below. Someone managed to catch the collapse on camera and the footage had fascinated me since I was a child and so I’ve always wanted to go there. I walked right along the beach, underneath the replacement bridge and the new 2007 bridge being built (to help ease congestion) and I’m pleased to say that I saw some of the remains of the original due to the low tide. In 1992, the remains were placed on the National register of historic places to protect it from salvagers and it is also the Worlds largest man-made reef.
Amazingly, no humans were killed or injured in the collapse as all car passengers made it to safety. The only fatality was ‘Tubby’ the Cocker Spaniel. Bridge design changed dramtically after this incident so Tubby didn’t die in vain.

5) I saw someone being arrested in a rather dramatic fashion at my campsite.
I’ve got no idea what the man had done as I didn’t rush over to watch from the bushes like everyone else did. I carried on cooking my dinner but it was impossible not to hear the police shouting “GET DOWN ON THE GROUND“ over and over again. The amount of commotion going on though, you would have thought that the man was on a killing spree as people ran around screaming and shouting, flailing their arms in the air like in a scene from Die Hard or Naked Gun. For a second I had thought there were guns involved but I soon returned back to the tossing of my salad and the sautéing of my potatoes. During the next hour, a total of 6 Police cars and 2 fire engines turned up (after he’d already been arrested). A siren was also sounded throughout the forest. It was the same sort of siren used to warn people of air raids in World War 2 so I first thought that Armageddon was on its way but I then realised that the siren is now used to alert people to forest fires. Although there wasn’t one this time. I can understand the need for diligence when it comes to the risk of forest fires but, I can’t help thinking that 6 police cars may have been a slight over-reaction to one man who had already been apprehended and who wasn’t actually armed or had caused a forest fire. But then what the hell do I know?

6) Seattle.
First I went to the Cemetery where I thought Jimi Hendrix and Bruce Lee were buried. I got to the entrance which had a huge sign saying it was the was the resting place for ‘heroes’ so I was then sure I was in the right place. I went to the reception and was greeted my a large man and I asked him if he could point me in the right direction so I could find Jimi Hendrix’s final resting place. “Sir, this is a cemetery for war veterans and heroes. You will not find that kind of man buried here” he said quite abruptly. I apologised for getting it so wrong but also pointed out to him, without meaning any disrespect that a billion people may disagree with him about whether Jimi Hendrix was a hero or not. I then left quite quickly.
I had a quick wander round Seattle, I had the obligatory coffee in one of it’s many Independent coffee bars, which are all superior to the coffee chain which originated from here, I checked out the Olympic Sculpture park which is well worth a visit and I also visited the Experience Music project. It had a really good Hendrix exhibition and I was also able to get the proper directions to his resting place but by then I’d run out of time.
I also got entrance to the Sci-Fi museum included , which, to be fair was actually better than the music project. It was small but perfectly formed and I got to see lots of Star Trek props (suits, tribbles, phasers and Borg), Cylons (Battlestar Galactica), Tweeky (Buck Rogers), Muffet (the robotic dog from Battlestar Galactic - They actually used to put a chimp inside the suit! - not sure if that would be allowed now), the hydraulic cargo bay exoskeleton from Alien (I used to have surreal nightmares revolving around this) and the spaceship from ‘Batteries Not Included’. The list goes on and on and on and on……. Oh, by the way, its worth pointing out now that I’m not actually a sci-fi nerd.
I also went to Pike Place Market. Again, I was looking for something. This time it was the Fish stall. The reason for this was that when I worked for Capita, I was made to watch a video of the 'famous' fish Market so as to learn how to develop a good possitive mental attitude at work and so then I could 'enjoy' it more. Unfortunately the video actually had the reverse effect on me. Within a week of watching people enjoy throwing fish around and talk in unison about fish (i did try to follow their example by throwing memos and hard-drives around and repeating everything my manager said in a Stephen Hawkin type voice), i'd resigned to pursue a life of music, travel and temping.

7) Mount St Helens
I really enjoyed the drive out there and it was a really majestic site to see. A Volcano where the eruption in 1980 caused the mountain to dramatically bulge and then explode over the surrounding areas. You can still see lots of signs of the destruction it caused and the volcano is still smoking away, letting everyone now that it is far from being inactive.

8) Portland and Mat’s Mum.
I had a wander round Portland before driving out to find Mat’s mum (Chris), Larry, Josh and Janie after some confusion caused by Mat over telephone numbers (i'll mention all this some other time, eh Mat?). Chris did all my washing and even gave me a packed lunch to take with me the next day on the drive down towards California. I played some guitar with Josh and berated him for having a James Blunt song on his I Tunes and then I played ping pong with Janie who was much better at it than me. She also has this amazing skill of not having to breathe for minutes on end whilst engaging you in conversation. I really enjoyed being in a house again and the novelty of sitting round the table for dinner as I’d not done this at all until this week.

9) The Redwood forests
My first thoughts were “ahhhhhh, so this is where the Ewoks live”. the drive through the dark maze of humongous trees was one of the surrealist things I’ve done so far since I’ve been out here. Although it’s about time that I realised that a road shown with a serrated line on a map means ’not really a road as such, drive this way at your own peril’. - I then obviously drove this way, at my own peril.. It added about an extra 2 hours to my journey to San Francisco. It was incredibly scenic but yes, quite perilous in places.

10) OH for God’s sake, what am I still doing here writing? I didn’t come on this trip just to write blogs. I want to go and explore San Francisco.

Photos from BC to Oregon are uploading as I type.. they'll be finished by the time you get round to reading this.

- I posted this 3 days ago but for some reason it didn't show... anyway.. here it is....

8 Days in San Francisco. Where to start?? Well, I could start with the fact that I nearly decided that after all the good food, wine, mimosa’s, beer (that’s a lot of alcohol so far) and places of interest (that’s not alcohol - phew) that I was introduced to, I thought that I might just stay here with Martin and Sylvia forever, but Yosemite is calling me (the fact that a national park is calling me may have something to do with the alcohol again) and so I plan to be there tonight before heading back out to the West coast and on to Los Angeles.

San Francisco is one of those cities where you can either have a fantastic experience or just a great experience. I can’t imagine having a bad time here but then maybe anything is possible (how else can you explain James Blunt or Celine Dion?). The fact that San Francisco is a city is strange as it is more like several contrasting small towns that have different cultures, different climates and different landscapes that have all been pushed together to form a crazy but sane, hilly but flat, sunny but cold, safe but dangerous City.

In fact, Downtown for me was the least exciting place to visit and I didn’t make it there until after 5 days. I took pictures of the iconic Cable Cars but didn’t ride one as they were a little tourist heavy ($5 for one ride? No thanks, I’ll take the bus) and I felt the same about Fisherman‘s wharf too although they are still both good places to wander round and people watch.

Anyway, I want to keep the blog short as I want to head out of the City soon so here are some of the more interesting points to make about my week in San Francisco.

1) The Micro climate.
The fog can appear and complete immerse you and your surroundings at the click of a finger and then the temperature can change at the drop of a hat and then the Sun can start burning you before you can drink another mimosa. Even the different neighbourhoods have different climates and we nearly froze to death at a baseball game.

2) Columbus Avenue, City lights and the Beat Generation poets. This was one of my first places to visit. Jack Kerouac’s On the Road was one my main inspirations for this trip although my version hasn’t included any narcotics. That’s if you don’t include alcohol. I think Kerouac and Ginsberg were fantastic writers but I have to be a little controversial here and say that I found William S Burrough’s Naked Lunch a complete waste of my time. But then maybe he was the Pete Doherty of his generation. Maybe we’ll be reading Babyshambles lyrics in 50 years time (well, maybe I won’t) and thinking that they were the work of a true genius. Eh? Eh? No I don’t think so either.

3) The Haight district.
Here was another very famous neighbourhood, the heart of the hippie movement which was, in some ways, a spin-off of the Beat generation movement. I visited the house where the Grateful Dead lived and worked and the house where Janis Joplin stayed when she was in the area. The area is looking a lot less ’hippie’ than the pictures and footage of the 60’s era that I have seen and I’m sure the rent is a little higher these days too but it still holds a lot of charm if a few too many hangers-on that haven’t realised that era’s should be left in the past and in the end, people should move on.

4) The mission
Very colourful indeed and sometimes unfortunately for the wrong reason (apparently blue and red are gang colours and unfortunately mistakes can happen). It’s mainly a Latin American neighbourhood but it now seems to be becoming popular with students and arty types due to the lower rents. The area is also famous for hundreds of murals that are painted on the sides of houses and down alleyways. I spent a while round here taking photos of some of the best ones although I wish I hadn’t have walked there as it was actually quite a long way. I was clever and got the bus back.

5) Crazy People
I met one woman who, told me she was a chef who had lived in San Francisco all her life, 5 minutes later she told me she’d just moved here from Seattle and had been a Realtor but now wanted to be a photographer. Another 5 minutes later she’d told me she’d lived here for 5 years and she was a model but was having to supplement her income by working in a supermarket.
I met an old man on a bus who told me he’d been persecuted for being a Nazi in the 40’s, a communist in the 50’s, a racist in the 60’s and now he was being persecuted for being a terrorist. He also explained the conspicuous consumerism involved in designing of all the major city parks in the USA and Canada. I must admit, I did get slightly lost but a smile and a nod can get you anywhere in this world.
There was also a beggar with the sales pitch of “Tell me you love me maaaan, and then I won’t kill you until the morning”

6) Alcatraz.
What a great day out. It was choc-a-bloc with tourists but it’s well worth it. I’ve always been fascinated with the place and I’ve read about the history (the army fort, penitentiary, the inmates, the escapes and the Indian occupation) many times so it was great to finally go there and see it all with my own eyes. The size of the cells, the cold atmosphere and barren landscape along with the sight and sounds of the City from just a mile away must have been complete and utter torture to the inmates. It really must have been hell on earth and the word ‘Harsh’ to explain the conditions was something of an understatement.

7) Wine Country.
As a rule, I’ve never really bought Californian wine. I suppose mainly for economic and political reasons and probably because I thought that they would have no idea on how to produce really good wine. But I’m completely wrong and it’s been proven over the last few days that I probably know absolutely nothing about wine. They actually have the perfect conditions with weather, soil, grapes and know-how to produce some magnificent wine and Martin and Sylvia were great tutors.

8) Baseball
What a strange, interesting and enjoyable spectacle. It’s not really just about baseball either. I can’t really say I knew all the rules by the end of the match but then it didn’t really matter. Besides baseball, there is so much else to do too. Admittedly, most of this does involve drinking, eating and merchandise but you can’t go to the states and not go to a baseball match. I’ve always wanted to know what the organ playing symbolised too but to my dismay, no one seemed to know so I guess it had no meaning; this did take away some of the magic for me. San Francisco lost dismally but again, no one really seemed to care too much 5 minutes after the game. But then apparently they were playing 3 more times that weekend. At times it also seemed that 50,000 people in the stadium weren’t even paying attention either but it becomes quite apparent when someone does manage to hit the ball that everyone has one eye on the game, the other eye on beers and snacks and they have their ears listening out for the organ.

9) Having a break from driving, being able to relax and stay in one place for a week.
I even put the camera down for a few days. Constant travelling can really take it out of you and it’s so nice to have one place to have as a base for longer time that 1 or two days. I have my hosts to thank for that. I’m sure some of you are feeling sorry for me having to travel for 3 months and not having to work.. Poor me!

’m showered, rested and now I’m ready to watch my wallet in the City of Las Vegas. Nevada must be the first state that actually has more billboards and advertisements than people; it’s really quite surreal. As Martin and I walked through the lobby and casino of our hotel, Treasure Island, we didn’t notice one smiling face, that's if you don’t include the staff. Strange for a place of pure fun and entertainment. If you are looking for credibility then it‘s not here. credibility has left the building. Still, I think I’m going to enjoy it here.

Anyway, more about Las Vegas some other time.

My last blog was from San Francisco and since then I’ve taken in the wonders of Yosemite national park, the Big Sur Coastline and Los Angeles. Yosemite was incredible for it’s colossal granite mountains and tall waterfalls, Admittedly it was a bit tourist heavy in places (it is summer after all) but if you can handle the early mornings before anyone else has arisen then it’s not a problem. The Big Sur coastline was also astounding for it’s never-ending, winding coastal roads, Wildlife (Seals, Sea-otters, turkey vultures, pelicans, Hells Angels) , and for the Castle that the complete egocentric maniac William Randolph Hearst built (the real-life Citizen Kane).

Los Angeles on the other hand was a sprawling mess of a city. You can drive for hours and not get anywhere and you can honestly smell the pollution in the air. It may once have been something to shout about but I doubt it has been for a long time. I feel proud to say that I must be one of the very few tourists to have gone to L.A and not walked down the Hollywood hall of fame. I drove down there, took one look, likened it to Oxford Street after a Nuclear Holocaust and drove off. I did go to the Warner Brothers studio for a tour which was actually quite good although I was the last one on the tour to realise that I was standing on the ‘Friends‘ set. Personally, I think that’s something to be proud of too. It took me a while to find the Warner studios, in fact there were no signs for it but there were plenty of signs for the Universal Studios which I knew to be close by so I decided the best thing to do was to stop by there and ask for directions. I got to the parking lot and asked the attendant for directions. He looked at me with a puzzled expression and said “Don’t you want to come here?”, I replied “Did you make The Goonies?”, He thought for a while and said “errrr, no I think that was one of theirs”, “Then no…”. I’m pleased to say that he then gave me the correct directions anyway. I also went to the Reagan Presidential library, not because I’m a fan of his politics but because I wanted to know more about the ‘Hollywood‘ Reagan (can you name one film he has been in?). Apparently his most famous film is where he plays a young man who wakes up to find that both his legs have been amputated by a disgruntled surgeon who disapproves of Ronnie‘s relationship with his daughter. His immortal line is ‘Honey! Where’s the rest of me??’.
It’s so strange coming to a country where anyone who was president instantly becomes a national icon and is loved by everyone no matter what they did or didn‘t do, you can understand one leader out of 100 being praised like this (Ho Chi Minh, Churchill, Mackenzie King). It’s the complete opposite to the U.K. where the Prime Minister will normally end up completely despised by everyone once he/she leaves office, apart from the odd (obvious) exception. I did also go to Venice Beach, Santa Monica and Malibu which was like being in the Stepford wives film. No one looks real and there appears to be a complete vacuum behind those shining, plastic- eyes.
I am also proud to say that I must be one of the very few tourists to have gone to Los Angeles and visited the Trout Mask Replica house. This is the house where in the 60’s Captain Beefheart, legendary musician and artist, locked up the Magic Band for about 9 months to learn and rehearse the seminal album Trout Mask Replica. I checked the address and directions online with resident Beefheart historian Neil Barrett and it turned out that I was just camped round the corner so I found the place in no time. I travelled past a luxurious golf course to find the entrance to a single track, badly paved excuse for a road. Most of the houses actually looked pretty impressive considering the mirage given by the road, I followed the track for about 5 minutes until I came to number 4295. This was it and it couldn’t have contrasted more with the rest of the neighbourhood if it tried. It was a ramshackle wooden looking affair with pink doors and door frames although to be fair it looked like the property was being worked on (someone bought it last year for something in the region of half a million dollars). There was nowhere to park so I had to park illegally (blocking the road) to take photos. A neighbour gave me the strangest look as I stood there snapping away. There was a note on the door. I tried to zoom in on the note but I couldn’t quite get it in focus. I decided to approach the house to look at the note. As I got to the steps, a light came on upstairs and I jumped out of my skin. The next thing I heard was a car pulling up behind my van and so I had to run back down to unblock the road. I drove on and still had nowhere to park but managed to turn round to come by the house again but as I went to jump out of the van, another car came along and so I had to drive on. I decided to be happy with the photos I’d taken and maybe using some computer technology I’ll be able to work out what the note said on the front door. It probably said “Dear Beefheart fans, please leave me alone.”

*Deep breath*

Anyway, I’ve only got 3 weeks left of my trip before I’m (hopefully) back in New York so I thought now would be a good time to round up of some more observations and opinions I have formed and a few things I’ve grown accustomed to over the past 2 and a half months.

1) Everyone looks healthy and wealthy (some look slightly plastic) in the West and everyone is slightly less in shape, paler and a bit rougher around the edges in the East.. I’m not saying that either/or is a bad thing.

2) I’ve very much got used to being on the look out for free places to stay for the night. Wal-Mart car parks are the obvious choice (thanks Pat) but there are also plenty of other good places scattered around. It got me thinking about an idea for a online database/website where people can log their free (and safe) overnight stops they have used so that other people may use them in the future (not just the states but in Britain too).. No doubt someone has already thought of it. I just haven’t used the right google-ism when searching for them.

3) Crows - There have been times when I have really thought they have been following me or at least had a ‘murderous’ network of lookouts and hosts that meet and greet me at certain locations.. I worked out my travel route ’as the crow flies’, so to speak, rather than actually looking at road maps months before I started my trip. Every time I have arrived at one of my checkpoints, there has always seem to have been a crow there already as if it to say “you see, my route WAS quicker!”.

4) Error 99 - Sadly this is the error I’m getting on my camera, I checked the manual and it simply states “Error 99 - none of the other stated error messages”. Well, of course it’s not any of the other bloody error messages. Basically, my camera will take photos but I have to fiddle with the shutter speed for about 10 minutes before it works. Luckily, I’m insured and I should get an upgrade when I get back (they discontinued my one). As long as it keeps working up until the Grand Canyon then I don’t care.


5) Due to the continuing stares I still get for having a New Jersey license plate, I asked someone from New Jersey why all the other Americans hate them so much.
“I don’t know, they just all hate us” came back the sad reply

6) I Asked someone from California why they hated people from New Jersey so much.
“Their attitude stinks, I went there once for a week and it felt like 10 years” was the terse reply.

7) I’ve Got used to answering the following questions: “The Channel Tunnel.. What do you think of that?”, “What do you think of France now?”, “Have you forgiven the Germans?”, “What do you think of Winston Churchill?”, “What do you think of George Bush?”, “How‘s the queen?”, “What do you think of the Japanese?” and “What do you think of the Muslims?”.

8) Being asked by Canadians what makes them so different to the Americans.
I’m not letting Canadians off the hook… They do like us to point it out for them and if they don’t then they will gladly point it out.

9) People aren’t just happy with talking on their mobile phones whilst driving. I’ve also spotted people eating hamburgers, reading maps, holding their dogs on their laps and putting on makeup. On my way to Vegas I was tailgated and eventually overtaken by someone with the license plate “Luv God” while they were eating a burger and reading what looked like the bible.

10) I’m missing being able to say “Not Bad” or “Rubbish” when asked the question “How you doing?“ or “How are you today?“. instead I have to say “Good”, “Swell” or “Great”, as well as having to say “Gas” when I mean “Petrol”; that’s just stupid in my opinion. I’ve still resisted substituting ‘Cell’ for ‘Mobile’ which I’m quite proud of myself over.


11) Obsession with cleaning Cars.
I’ve stayed at various camp sites or passed through neighbourhoods where everyone is out officiously cleaning and waxing their cars instead of relaxing, hiking or doing the other things you would normally associate with camping, gardening or erm, shop car parks.

12) Obsession with Mowing lawns with tractors.
This, along with cleaning cars must be their version of ‘keeping up with the Jones’’. Everyone's lawns are immaculate.

13) Pampered Dogs
It’s big business out here and there are plenty of Professional pamperers out there; you don’t have to look too hard or far. Dogs sometimes look better kept than their owners and carrying a dog in a bag under your arm is the height of fashion.

14) The Handlebar Moustache
The handlebar moustache doesn’t quite have the same meaning as it does in the UK and it is certainly not a thing of ridicule.

15) To Jump the Shark
My new favourite saying. The translation of Jump the shark is when a TV series or anything has gone on for longer than it should. It refers to the time in Happy Days when the Fonz clad in his normal leather jacket, water-skied over a ramp to jump a shark.

I better leave it at that before this blog jumps the shark. Unless it already has.